[ That doesn't sound at all comforting, but can she really afford to meddle? Isn't it better to keep her head down and earn what she came here for? That's so hard to do. ]
Then I would have to carve out my own path toward something I could believe in.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
Something like that can be hard to fight against and at times, it feels like you're being pushed to the end of your rope. But I refuse to believe in the impossible. I've spent a very long time defying the things that others have tried to force on others as truth.
[ She thinks she has tried to do the same only to fall flat on her face with more suffering in the world than when she started. But it isn't the finish line yet. Her work isn't done. Not yet. ]
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
You're braver than I am then.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
But I wish you well all the same. I hope you succeed.
[ He can understand the thought. It seems like for eight centuries, there has been one failure after another and the pile just continues to grow. Hope doubts he'll find any comfort here but it wasn't something he could walk away from, not any longer. ]
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
It's not about bravery. Fact is, I'm utterly afraid at times but I'm also terribly stubborn. I'd say it came with old age but I wasn't much better as a kid.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
At the end of the day though, I just want to protect my family and my home. I'll do anything to see it come to fruition.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
I've messed up a lot along the way and I'm sure I'll continue messing up. Still, I have to keep going until I reach the end. Whether that means taking the path laid out in front of me or not.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
You just have to remember who and what you believe in even if it's not always easy. Thank you though and I hope you're able to follow the path that makes you happy.
[ Her reply comes minutes later, after she has mulled over whether it would serve either of them well for her to say this, but selfishly, she wants him to know the truth, if only because it would lift a little burden off her shoulders. ]
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Hope. I chose this path with full understand of what it means, for my own reasons. This is what I believe in.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Sometimes you must destroy to allow something beautiful to grow.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Even so, I would always wish to fight on your side. If I could.
Although I don't know your reasoning. I truly do understand what you're saying.
[ The reasoning might not be the same but the understanding is there. Isn't what they had done before when they destroyed everything the people of Cocoon had known? Even now, it's been the same... two worlds are gone and Fang's blood still on his hands. And for what? His family and a world holding on by a thread.
Part of him wonders how things might have played out had he stayed the same here. Perhaps it was for the best that he had ]
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
But I would always welcome your help. And if possible, I will be here to offer my own assistance whenever I can.
[ In a way, she expected Hope to accept her admission better than some others she has met in the crew. Keeping secrets is such a heavy burden, one she can't carry around forever. Even this is a great relief for her, even if she doubts Hope realizes it. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
More to this than we will ever know, Hope?
[ That doesn't sound at all comforting, but can she really afford to meddle? Isn't it better to keep her head down and earn what she came here for? That's so hard to do. ]
no subject
I don't believe that, no. I just don't think it'll be easy.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
But getting the truth sometimes never is.
no subject
It never is.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
I hope the truth will be a relief, rather than otherwise.
[ Even if she thinks that's unlikely. ]
no subject
I hope so too.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
And even it's not what we want to hear, then at least we know the truth and can work toward changing it.
no subject
What will you do if the truth is unacceptable and yet it cannot be changed, Hope?
no subject
Then I would have to carve out my own path toward something I could believe in.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
Something like that can be hard to fight against and at times, it feels like you're being pushed to the end of your rope. But I refuse to believe in the impossible. I've spent a very long time defying the things that others have tried to force on others as truth.
no subject
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
You're braver than I am then.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
But I wish you well all the same. I hope you succeed.
no subject
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
It's not about bravery. Fact is, I'm utterly afraid at times but I'm also terribly stubborn. I'd say it came with old age but I wasn't much better as a kid.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
At the end of the day though, I just want to protect my family and my home. I'll do anything to see it come to fruition.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
I've messed up a lot along the way and I'm sure I'll continue messing up. Still, I have to keep going until I reach the end. Whether that means taking the path laid out in front of me or not.
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
You just have to remember who and what you believe in even if it's not always easy. Thank you though and I hope you're able to follow the path that makes you happy.
no subject
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Hope. I chose this path with full understand of what it means, for my own reasons. This is what I believe in.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Sometimes you must destroy to allow something beautiful to grow.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Even so, I would always wish to fight on your side. If I could.
no subject
Although I don't know your reasoning. I truly do understand what you're saying.
[ The reasoning might not be the same but the understanding is there. Isn't what they had done before when they destroyed everything the people of Cocoon had known? Even now, it's been the same... two worlds are gone and Fang's blood still on his hands. And for what? His family and a world holding on by a thread.
Part of him wonders how things might have played out had he stayed the same here. Perhaps it was for the best that he had ]
FROM: estheim.hope@cdc.org
But I would always welcome your help. And if possible, I will be here to offer my own assistance whenever I can.
no subject
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Thank you.
FROM: suyumkhe@cdc.org
Take good care, Hope.